ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
