Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
