Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
