explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
