I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
