I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
