last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
