Dual....:-)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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