if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
