Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize