Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
