and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
