I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
