i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Someone came in the potted fern
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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