How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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