I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you never un-have a 4some
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
