covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
