the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
