Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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