dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
