I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
