'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
