Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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