i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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