He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
