K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize