someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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