no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
