the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
