That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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