WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize