She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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