After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
