That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i think i just lost a toe
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
