U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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