I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
