Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I came so hard my ears popped.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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