Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize