everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
