There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
