GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
