that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
