if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
