She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
