my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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