Whod you bang
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize