We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
