I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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