I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
