She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
