I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
