i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
