I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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