Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
