Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
