You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
