New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize