yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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